Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Culturally Etiquette-less!!!

My blunders.. a.k.a "SOMEONE SHOULDA TOLD ME ABOUT THIS DAMNIT!"


1- You know how in Eid you say "Kol 3am o into b5air" ?... and when you go to sleep you say "Ti9ba7o 3ala 5air" ?
Well one Eid my mom's friends are calling our house because her cell was off, and I keep answering.. each one would say "kol 3am o inti b5air" and I'd reply "o inti min ahl al 5air" .. sounded good enough.. about 5 ladies later, one was nice enough to inform me that my reply was for goodnight-- "Ti9ba7o 3ala 5air" ..

Right now I can't remember the appropriate one for Eid anyway.. someone tell me before Eid comes!


2- An older relative of ours visits and no one is home but my uncle and I.

I had to "a9ub il gahwa" .. I figure this can't be that hard. I grab the coffee thingy.. and umm.. one of those cup thingies .. finjan ya! .. and I'm about to start pouring when my uncle gives me the evils.. and keeps twitching his head to the left...

Apparently I have to pour with my left... shouldn't I weight train for this?!
THEN.. I went to sit down.. boy o boy I thought his head was gonna steam off..
I learned that I had to stand until the old fool was done with coffee.. and refills.. all with my left hand.. disaster! (never mind the fact that you have to pour an exact amount.. not to the rim. and not halfway-- a piece of information lost on me that day)


3- I go to my cousin Naif's wedding in Jeddah

After we arrive, they start singing something about coffee and welcoming.. I think aww how cute.. and the ladies come around with arabic coffee. I'm sitting at a table with my mom and sister and some ladies we don't know (ahl il 3aroos) .. The women coming around with the coffee hand me, my mom, and my sister coffee.. but non for the two ladies!
I think how RUDE! .. and pass mine to them.. they look at me like "what the hell!"
Coffee was for ahly il 3arees only..
Shouldn't they put that in the lyrics or something.. geez!


4- Same wedding..

About an hour after we arrive, the bride and groom still haven't appeared.. I decide to duck in the lady's room.. about 5 minutes later I come back and the WHOLE room has covered up and is wearing their abaya..
I'm thinking "whaaat the hell.. is it over?! this is it!!?" .. so imagine me stopped in my tracks in the middle all confused.. and tadaaa... il zaffa badat.. and we have a bunch of the bride's brothers and uncles coming in...
Someone eventually pulls me away and explains.. I defiantly refuse to don my own black garb.. although I'm sure my statement was lost on all the bitches giving me the evils..


5- My uncle's wife was having her first baby and we were at the hospital..

She finally gets wheeled in to the Operation Room.. and I'm the only one sitting outside next to two old women waiting for their own.
One of them asks me who I'm waiting for.. I inform her.. and then she says something to the effect of "zoujat 5alik? bakur?" ...
I'm like "uhhh! NO!.. She's having the baby right now.. she wouldn't be in there if she was having it tomorow!"
"bakur" is a first timer.. not "bukra" .. as in tomorow..
Wonderful Leeno.. why don't you just go up there and slap the poor women!


6- My mom's friend drops by for a visit unannounced

I was the only one around. I greeted her appropriately and everything, brought her in.. made some chit chat .. and went to get my mom. At which point she started yelling that I was inconsiderate for not asking her to take off her Abaya.. and of course with my luck 6il3atly wa7da makkawiya mga3dda.. boy did I hear it.
She's like "ummik ma 3allimatik".. I told her to take it up with my mom.. she thought that was funny and I was off the hook..


7- A neighbor of ours...

Who's around 20 something years old and newly married invites us out to an "istira7a" where she's having a party. I figure no need to make an ass of myself.. and I dress very modestly.. I get there and people barely have any clothes on. I looked like the principle of a catholic school..


8- Same woman invites us again ..

This time to her sister's engagement.. not one to make the same mistake twice, I whipped out my miniskirt and camisole...
whatdya know..
Everyone is dressed in longsleeves and long skirts and dresses.. $%^%^$!!!


9- I find out that every saudi out there is into "Abu Nora" .. and having taken up Arabic music lately I felt the urge to listen to him too..
Try as I friggin may.. I could not find Abu Nora anywhere..
Conspiracy theories run through my mind.. perhaps he's an underground singer .. perhaps he's only for the priviliged few...? Any relation to MAMA NORA? .. coz then I already love him!

Only yesterday did I find out.. Abu Nora is Mohamed Abdu..


10- It was after Ramadan back home, my Arabic teacher was transferred to the Boy's section and we got some lady. So we hadn't seen him for some time, one day he comes by to say hello and I stick out my hand to shake his.. he puts his on his chest .. and there I am with my hand stuck out looking very much idiotic. Then.. to seal the idiocy seal I say "Haaao ! Sallim!" haha.. and the poor man does.


So many rules.. Can't someone publish a book or something!!!

I'm sure I'll be fully ostracized and disowned by the end of the year..

| 1 CoMmEnTs| -- Posted by [[ On My Own ]]--|Permanent Link|

Sunday, October 23, 2005

and life goes on... Hermes Birkin bag

My friend and I were having an argument..

Actually, usually I'm excited about something and start arguing with him.. and he really doesn't give a rat's ass.. but sometimes he'll indulge me and play the devil's advocate..

Wonderful relationship.. (sense the sarcasm people)

Anyhow.. this day's discussion is .. well.. a bag! A handbag that is.. my friend has great taste.. he's great to turn to for anything I wanna buy .. and I stumbled upon this bag in my search:

I asked what he thought of it .. he's says"it's cute" .. and I say "I think it's the ugliest thing I've ever seen" .. he's replies "ya it's alright"..
I ask him to guess how much it is, he's like " 40 to 60 bucks.. I wouldn't pay over that for it if I were you"

Well the bag is $6,990 friggin dollars... and this is what drives me crazy.. he says:
"Well I guess it's cute after all.."

I don't understand the sudden obsession people have these days..
I can sort of understand the love of material posessions.. but for god's sake.. 7 grand for a bag!.. Hell I didn't even carry a handbag until 3 years ago when everything I needed just wouldn't fit in my pocket anymore..
But then to try to justify that it's worth it? .. and that it IS actually cute now that it's outrageously expensive..

Save your denial for the therapy couch..

Just to clarify.. I do NOT have a problem with someone wanting something expensive because they do actually like it.. and can afford it (and I don't mean mommy and daddy.. ) I've been guilty of buying things beyond reason .. but please.. draw the line between the love of shopping and sheer madness..

Then there's insecurity .. well it'll never be fulfilled with a bag anyway.. invest in therapy..

At the risk of sounding preachy.. can you imagine how much the life of someone less fortunate can be changed with that amount of money.. All I'm gonna say is .. people can't find food...

You haven't seen anything yet...

Guess how much this one is?

Well.. this one is not TOO awful looking.. I wouldn't be caught dead wearing it.. but that's just me.. ostentation has never been my thing

Anyway.. it's... drummmmm roolllll....$35,500 ..

Why not carry a clear plastic bag with 40 grand in it.. carrying that monstrosity is just as subtle..

In the word's of my friend "Well thaaat's a rip off.."

Sweetheart that's not a rip off.. that's College Tuition..

Here's an idea.. instead of investing in the enlargement of kirshit Hermes' , pay for my Medical school and I'll let ya carry me around.. I have a year round perfect tan.. and I'm cuter :p !

| 1 CoMmEnTs| -- Posted by [[ On My Own ]]--|Permanent Link|

Friday, October 14, 2005

Twilight Zone!

I'm really tired but I just have to write about this before going to sleep..

I just had the weirdest experience ever.. I don't even know how to feel about it.

My only weekend off, my friends and I decided to go to a Shisha shop 2 minutes away. When we get there a couple of other people we know are there.. 2 girls.. one arab one african.. a saudi 7jazi guy.. the owner and his wife. My friends consist of an arab guy and girl. We sit and the other group start talking.. very loudly, rowdy, and finally they even get lewd.
The Saudi guy is cursing right and left at these girls and they all laugh.. I'm talking curses that involve animals.. shoes.. level of intelligence.. it was unbelievable. They start talking about a drag show they went to...! Men dressed up as women.. vice versa.. homosexuality.. it was disgusting. The owner and his wife were noticably uncomfortable..

I was appalled by the saudi guy's manner.. he started talking about how the girls didn't know the difference between 7aram and not 7aram and he tries to make his point to me as I meekly smile and nod.. finally my guy friend asks that we leave. Outside, we're talking by our car and the other girls get in a cab and are waiting for the saudi guy.. he comes out and curses their mothers.. (and not just "yil3an") .. and they all laugh. My friend was looking at me like "can you believe this!" ..

Twilight zone...

I shoulda just stayed home and watched 20/20. Barbara Walters conducted King Abdulla's first interview since he took the rein. Did anyone catch it?

She came to saudi:
" I sat in the men's section in a starbucks and was asked to leave" .. no shit!
I hate american journalism.. here's the transcript: http://abcnews.go.com/2020/International/story?id=1214706&page=1

Funny excerpt:

WALTERS: Let's talk about Iran … Iran has become more powerful as a result of the turmoil in Iraq. Do you see that as a concern for Saudi Arabia?
ABDULLAH: The questioner is often times more knowledgeable than the questionee.

| 0 CoMmEnTs| -- Posted by [[ On My Own ]]--|Permanent Link|