Thursday, November 24, 2005

Who am I kidding?

Who was I kidding? I can't stay away from my blog..

It's thanksgiving, and I give thanks to:

* The puritans (was it them?) for slaughtering all those damned indians so we can claim this to be a holiday and stuff ourselves with food and sleep.

* My neighbor that keeps playing his bass music at max until my desk vibrates. .. jack ass.

* My car.. for buckling on me. Stupid piece of shit.

* The fact that it's not even Decemeber and the first snow of the season has already started.. I fukin LOVE freezing my ass off.

* That old lady that kept braking in front of me while I was driving home.. woman, I don't care if you break your hip.. either floor it or get out the wwaaaay!

* My house.. for being so messy. Must I clean you every damn day?

* Me and my blog for being so damn vain, pointless, and dull..

P.S
-- On a brighter note, I've fallen in love with Ms. Gaida Horeba's Blog. The woman is hilarious!
and I've finally coaxed Sammy into starting his own blog, he's a wonderful person and a great friend of mine.. I know you guys will make him feel as welcome and comfortable as you've made me feel.
UPDATE: I've also gotten my friend Nithar to start blogging.. I know.. what am I working for this site now?.. heh.. check them out ya'll.

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Saturday, November 19, 2005

Randome thoughts.. Occurrences..

~*~ I started my Weekend class last week. It's a 10 to 4 class every Saturday and Sunday until April. So I now officially have day classes, night classes, weekend classes, and I'll be taking a class over winter break.. hey you in that shirt.. ya you.. shoot me!

~*~ On the upside, the class is in the city.. and I've never hung out in the city during the day. It's absolutely beautiful. College students everywhere, charming little coffee and bagel shops, cute winding streets.. it's quite a site for a suburb girl like me.
This is a coffee shop I fell in love with..

The problem with townies like us is that we just can't get with the city pace, for instance:
a. I can't for the life of me learn how to parallel park, how is my car getting in that tiny spot. Not to mention I couldn't work the meter.. I swear!

b. Anyone approaching me for "Saaam chaaange" makes me want to run and yell POLICE!!

c. I can't figure out why everything is one way.. everything! How am I supposed to get anywhere..

d. Don't get me started on crossing the street! sheesh.. run me over why don't you..


~*~ My university had a small event where they displayed the different cultures adopting islam as a religion. They had samboosa man.. do you know what kind of heaven I was in? of course then I bit in to it and it had potatoes inside.. umm wrong culture! where can I file a complaint?

Some guy walked around with a becht .. pretty hilarious because my friend who came with me was American and he whispers to me "umm isn't that Bin Ladin attire" .. they never seize to amuse me.
He did love the fake samboosa though. Another friend of mine got 7enna done on his arm (maskeen fahim 3'alaaa6) , I wont say what he had them write .. lets just say it's the name of a group of very nice people in southern Lebanon.



~*~ The weather took a turn for the worse.. it's godamn freezing, meen feekom illy 3inah 7arra! Look at all the naked trees!


~*~ My other friends insisted I go out with them one night, and of course them being non-arab they dragged me to a bar. Yes folks.. I stepped into the forbidden land ..alright so it's not the first time but who's counting eh?
Anyhow.. I sipped on my chaste, rum-less, and liquorless (basically pointless.. throw that thing out!) coke. In line with my resolve to be more open with my mother.. I called her up and casually mentioned my excursion. I just want to take this moment to say thank you God for giving me such a great mother.. she is absolutely wonderful. I could almost hear the thoughts churning in her head.. finally she say's "oh "leeno" ...how was it?" and she doesn't outright demand that I never go again.. but she makes her stance clear while giving me the choice. She trusts my judgement completely.. and understands it may be impaired at times, but that deep (probably real deep) inside I'm a good kid. My father may be awful and our relationship is non-existant.. but my mother is worth a hundred of him.

~*~ I need to get away from blogging for a while.. work is piling up, and as little time as I have I spend so much of it writing it's ridiculous. I've become a blogaholic. Thanksgiving is coming up (yay to stealing other people's land!) and it'll be a great time for me to catch up with sleep, work, and shopping. Keep reading.. commenting.. I'll read and reply every once in a while. See you all in a couple of weeks.

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Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Good memories are better left undisturbed

She was a child of many wonders.. very independent..

she hates to be hugged for too long and she wont hold your hand.

We had a special bond..her and I. She couldn't pronounce my name.. so she'd call me "noana". She was almost a year and a half old and wouldn't learn to walk... perfectly content examining her toes, fingers, and playing with anyone's hair. When I visited during christmas a couple of years back, I picked her up.. stood her up at one end of the room and walked to the other end. At first she'd fall and whimper.. but finally she decided she'd swallow her pride and wobble over. I couldn't believe it.. I taught her how to walk.

If she came to visit and I was asleep, she'd stick her finger in my eye until I agreed to wake up. If I didn't go over to visit, or her parents didn't bring her over to my house, she'd go in her room, grab her favorite barbie shoes and mismatched socks and sit at the stairs until her dad came home. Then she'd yell "yalllla!" heh..

A summer came to an end, my bags were packed, I had an hour until I was to leave to the airport. As I sat at the couch, she sensed my sadness and ran over, crinkled her nose, and raised her arms to be carried so she can sit next to me. I was happy to oblige.. it's so rare that she would want to sit.

She climbed on my lap, took her chubby little palms, framed my face, and kissed my nose. She asked:
-"waaain lay7a noana?"
-- "ray7a baity sweetheart"
-"fain baitik?"
--"far away baby.. really far"
-"no.. ma troo7i far.. ana a7ibbik noana.. a5aleeki til3aby bi toysy"

I smiled as I let the only tear I would allow escape.. I had taught her how to say "a7ibbik"

I should've taken her up on her offer.

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Sunday, November 13, 2005

Boredom breeds oddness ?

Random occurrences over the past few days:

1- My friends have this habit of insisting that they hang out at my complex... knowing fully well my dad is always home. In any case, I never have the heart to turn them away. So as we laze about one night, one of the girls declares that she needs to use the restroom.. we all groan because I snuck out of my house so I wouldn't have to deal with the where/what/when interrogation-- she wouldn't be able to come up to my place.
So we all get in the car, drive to a nearby restaurant, and after 10 minutes we're back to our secluded spot. About 15 minutes later, my other friend--a guy-- announces that he must also "go potty".. this time we all refuse to leave.. we jokingly suggest that he jump over a distant fence and do his business behind a tree... he is a guy afterall..
Sure enough, he runs, jumps over the fence and disappears while we laugh at his gullibility.. a few seconds later we hear a loud yell/scream... we thought it was a joke!.. after a few minutes he comes back looking pallid..
We look at one another.. and finally I ask him what's wrong.. (hoping he wouldn't elaborate!)..
His eyes bulging.. he tells us that he think he pissed in a cemetery!!
You have got to know my stomach was hurting from all the laughing.. no way there's a cemetery right inside this complex! We make fun of his wild imagination and forget about the whole thing..

In the morning as I'm driving by my curiosity killing me.. I get out of the car.. and sure enough..

That is such an odd place to put a cemetery!.. it's not even outside the complex.

LOOOOOL.. the remains of the dead are probably rolling in indignation in their piss soaked graves..

2- I'm walking on campus and see this girl walking in high boots and a scandalously short skirt.. I mean from 10 feet away I could see waay too much.. and she was heading for the stairs!
As she turns, I realize she's this arab girl I know..
What would prod her to do that? I was surprised thinking it's some american chic.. nevermind an arab chic..

3- I'm sitting in a Biology recitation class-- where you read and present papers-- and this guy I know is giving a presentation. He's standing up at the podium next to an overhead projector and computers, monotonously going on and on.. I get bored and zone off.
As it goes into the 15 minute mark, and everyone looks bored, I start braiding my hair. Suddenly out of the corner of my eye, I see him -- as if in slow motion-- falling to the side towards the projector. I look up and this guy has fainted and fell next to all the computers and they in turn are now tipping over on him. I look around and no one is moving.. not even the professor.
Me being the oddity that I am, I run up the stage from the baaack row like tarzan on crack. When I get there I lean over him and ask "ARE YOU OK!".. as he's looking up at me I realize he's fine. I breath a sigh of relief.. and secretly pride myself on my quick reaction time.. I mean think of it.. I, my friends, am a HERO!

Now I feel awkward.. and instead of helping him up-- I turn and start picking up the computer!

I'm gonna make a great doctor.. Dr. Leeno.. central processing unit savior!

Hero.. just keep thinking that..

A cape is in order.. perhaps an award of accolade eh?.. I'll take whatever you'll give.

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Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Roadtrip to the Second Arab Homeland..

Having had a depressing first day of Eid, I decided that I would not wallow in self-pity and instead make the best of it.

After an hour of contemplating different options I decided I'd go on a roadtrip. I love driving my car, windows down, soft alternative music, warm day.. it's so therapeutic. My choices were either Pennsylvania or Virginia. I wanted to tour Lancaster, where all the amish live or I could go shopping in Virginia and enjoy seeing a bunch of arabs milling about.

I settled for the latter, mostly because I needed clothes since I'm allergic to shopping and always avoid it. Plus.. I just wanted to see a bunch of arabs, a lot of people just don't get this. Many go out of their way to avoid them. I'm surrounded by locals all yearlong. For me, sometimes just the sight of some good ol' arab blood is a comfort .. honestly I can't describe it.. it's like.. a weight is lifted off my heart.

I talk to my mom and mention my plan.. she asks who I'm going with and I said.. alone. It never occurred to me to invite anyone. That's the thing, in the past 2 years I've really grown to enjoy the company of myself.. and no it isn't odd. It's truly a .. serene feeling. I feel like people around me are so self-involved and can't just shut up for two seconds and enjoy what's around them.

Often I take to the road.. go random places and just walk around.. enjoy the scenery and the weather. It's amazing-- you're constantly surrounded by people most of your life and it's like a gray cloud you have to muddle through to get to the clear skies beyond.

But I digress...

So after an hour and a half I get to the mall.. they have real nice malls in Virginia. Tifta7 il nifs 3al shopping.
But the most interesting is of course the hoards and hoards of arabs there. Mostly khaleejis. I'd be walking and encounter a group of guys with oily, slicked back hair and painfully colorful clothing that would eye me .. and I know they're trying to figure if I'm "one of them" or not..

Or I walk by starbucks and it's jam packed full of arab guys lounging about.. what is it with us and starbucks?.. The Gulf alone probably has supported that franchise for decades to come

I go into Abercrombie & Fitch-- a classic blonde-bimbo-wannabe surfer white girl store-- and at the counter a young arab girl is purchasing a tanktop and shorts. She's not only wearing 7jab, but has also brought it across her nose.. creating and eerie alluring effect..

As I'm heading to another store, there's a guy on the phone and leaning against the rail outside. He's Saudi.. I heard him talking on the phone before he saw me.. I pass by and he turns..
As I walk into the store I smile knowing what's next..
Sure enough..as I'm admiring a gorgeous coat, he comes in and almost bumps into me while speaking obnoxiously loud on the phone.. in arabic. heh.. oh sweeeet familiarity!

This is obviously not to knock my fellow arabs.. one is just more likely to notice and be amused by the usual quirks.. I did have some other amazing encounters..

As I was sauntering along, I saw a woman in all black sitting down..
I had a flashback of Riyadh.. but wait! I'm not in Riyadh..
Is this woman really wearing an Abaya in the U.S !?

Yes indeed.. there she was in full black garb, complete with 3abaya and burgu3 too.
I swear to god, tears came to my eyes. I wanted to hug that woman..
I resigned myself to "salam 3alaikom"..
She looked up at me.. smiled easily and sallamat back.. and probably made my day.. heck my whole month.
I know it sounds odd .. but I just can't explain it.

I saw so much in this woman..

The way she sat comfortably.. she is who she is by choice-- be it back home or abroad-- .. as people pass by her they see nothing out of the ordinary because she carries herself with such confidence, dignity, and complete pride in who she is and where she is from.

I've personally never been so proud to be arab than I was at that moment.

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Thursday, November 03, 2005

3eed..!

كل عام وانتو بخير, ينعاد علينا و عليكم بالخير و البركة..

Ahh how I miss Eid with my family :( ..
They're probably lazing about now.. My mom would be incessently cleaning and organizing.. my grandma calling out from the kitchen. My sister would be acting cool and wont wake up till 5 .. then she'll blare hidous music from her room.. heh..
My little cousins would be flooding the house making all kinds of noise..

and I sit here.. quietly.. contemplating this dire fate.. and why I'm wearing only one sock?

Anyhow.. 3eedkom mubarak!

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Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Born too late..

A few days ago I was possessed.. if I didn't go out dancing I was gonna go crazy.

I was hoping to have as much fun as I had on that one night a month ago..

I found out about this restaurant/lounge downtown that has a middle eastern night weekly.. Unfortunately it's the night of my night class which runs until 9:30pm. This place will not admit you after 10 if you're under 21.

Yours truly looks like she is 14.

My friend Moe is 22, so he's fine. My other friend Sara is under 21, but she had a fake ID. We get there and this place looks like an underground club.. it looked very nice. There are drums going, 5 to 6 belly dancers, and all kinds of middle easterners at the enterence.

We approach, and the bouncer eyes me, smiles, and asks for my ID and a $20 cover. I try to play off the ID and say "ohh I don't have cash.. where can I find an ATM?". He wasn't phased, he points me to where the ATM is, and asks for my ID, I give it to him.. he's like "sorry sweetheart.."

I insist that I wont be having a single drink.. I just wanted to watch the dancers and shake it a bit.. he refuses.

Moe elbows me.. and tells me in a low voice that he'll walk off and that I should try to appeal to the bouncer.. using my "charms" ...

Me..?!

Before I can protest he walks off casually..

I look at the bouncer.. the guy is is a big white man. He has on one of those biker hats and sweat beads and drips off of his forehead.. how am I supposed to butter him up?

Now I warn you, subtelty has never been a virtue of mine.. especially not under pressure.. Sara is looking at me expectantly ..

I look at the bouncer.. smile .. and this is what comes out of my mouth:

- "I like that bald look you've got going on"
He looks baffled..
--"I'm not baaald! "
He removes his biker hat revealing an archipelago of hair..
- "oh .. well, that's .. nice"

Sara groans..

I just couldn't bring myself to do it.. besides, I'm not privy to the wiles and skills of a female courtesan..
and I'm not eye candy! jeez..

Moe is down the street by now laughing his ass off..

We get back in the car and he drives around the town to make me feel better.. but lets face it.. the night was over.

I hadn't slept well in days anyway.. and I was tired. Moe starts talking about various conspiracy theories he has about why the city is so shabby and drug infested..I give him my own theory about how institutionalized education stifles those who think outside the box...

As his voice drones on .. I fall asleep and dream of the night of dancing I would've enjoyed had I only been born 2 years earlier

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