Monday, March 06, 2006

No [wo]Man Land..

My days are monotonous. My mind is atrophying.

Alas.. I decided to take a day off.

I surrendered to a 2 week nicotine craving.

There are these cigarettes... ah, celestial!
With every drag they leave a distinctly sweet taste on your lips. mm.. yummy. A friend told me about a Cigar Shop that carries them. So I drove over, parked my car, and walked around the scenic town looking for the place.

I found it in a little cozy crook. Inside, a middle aged man was helping an older constipated (Well I wouldn't know.. but you should've seen the way he looked.. a cross between Dr.Watson and Mr.Darcy) gentleman with an outrageously priced cigar selection. A younger man came to help me and as he went to find my lovelies I stood around admiring the intricacies of the place. Aside from the dark, smoke infested interior and antiquated cherry wood theme, there was some sort of of hidden room behind a few cases. I could hear the rumbling laughter of middle aged men with an Irish tinge and could imagine them sitting around as if it was the 1920s with their cigars and suits.

My imagination stream was truncated by the snips of conversation that seeped through:

"Were you at the pub last night? ohhh so many [my university's name] girls were there.. I didn't know WHAT to do with [obscene refrence to his --I bet below average-- member]"

"Ohhhh I missed it, those girls can sure treat a man"

"[chortle that grated on my nerves].. Richard asked me if I had seen this one girl before, and I said to him.. No, but I've seen her BEE-hind"

Now I know what it feels like when a man walks in on an elaborate discussion of monthly cycles. As I'm picking out a pretty holder, the middle aged man that was helping Mr.Watsy earlier hurries out from the back and whispers:

"You'll have to excuse them.. this goes on every day.. it has nothing to do with you"

I smile and nod, what was I to say?.. he gets more flustered and lodges the proverbial shoe.

"Not that we wouldn't talk about you.. they'll do that right after you leave "

The young man helping me shoves the shop's pretentious bag with my purchases at me, urging me to leave.

Once safely outside of the flagrant testosterone hubbub, I sat on a bench and enjoyed the light headedness that comes with a new cigarette ... resigning myself to never understanding either worlds.


P.S The Nat Shermans were worth it though.

| 8 CoMmEnTs| -- Posted by [[ On My Own ]]--|Permanent Link|

8 Comments:

Tsk tsk @ taking the day off... where's that conscience of yours Leeno? =P

"flagrant testosterone hubbub"
Def. wouldn't wanna to be there

By  Sedna, at 06 March, 2006 04:31  

Only smokers can understand smokers. If it were with cheaper ciggies, that light-headedness would've been substituted with handicapping drowziness. No more marl-friggin'-boros for me!

By  f_, at 06 March, 2006 16:05  

Yeah, thats a typical guy-convo, of course. Man tries to assert masculinity by proving that he does indeed notice the 'assets' of females. He also tries to prove the dominant alpha male by referring to his (as you said, probably below average) member, as a proud, uncontrollable beast of some sort.


I guess all I can say is that most men aren't really like that, its all...whats the world, bravado, I suppose. We're all social beasts. I think raf is right when he/she says that its more like women talking amongst themselves. I'm sure you all can be just as bad!

By  illogicist, at 06 March, 2006 18:21  

i hope they really were worth it... sara7aa i dont get the whole smoking thing... but like fedo said, only smokers can understand smokers :)

By  Anonymous, at 07 March, 2006 23:50  

Sed:
One must preserve some semblance of sanity.

I didn't mind it.. it was interesting.


Raffy:
I can't think of a single conversation I had at a bar with gal-friends that you'd be uncomfortable with. Well, perhaps discussions of X's delicious bum.

Yes it is. I quit again.


Fedo:
I hate marlboro. In an case, the lightness wears off and then you're just smelling like shit for no reason.


Illogicist:
I have yet to encounter a conversation between women where they compare breast size.
So until that day comes, "men are ill-favored, insufferable oafs" .. or something like that.. heh.


Daydreamer:
Nothing to get. It's good at first, then not so much..


JS:
Eh. I couldn't be bothered.

These are Nat Sherman regulars.. the ones I liked were Nat Sherman Mints. If you like menthols, you'll be in heaven.

By  Trevelyana, at 08 March, 2006 23:13  

Sam:
I've quit dear. Tell all your hot friends.


JS:
Really? they're pretty light.
Ya that one's Fantasia.. social cigs heh. And very amusing for when my guy friends bum cigs, I insist on giving them the pink.

By  Trevelyana, at 09 March, 2006 08:02  

I'm not a fan of the smell. Perhaps on a guy occasionally (ah vanity..)
I used to carry my mouthwash everwhere.. and sorry, my car's smoke free heh.

jeez I'm anal.

By  Trevelyana, at 10 March, 2006 02:19  

Yummy? I don't get that, and I guess I never will..
They were colorful enough for me though!! lol

By  Nouph, at 11 March, 2006 10:21  

Post a Comment