Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Late Night Musings...

I felt a faint throbbing, I couldn't tell where or what it was... just a sort of dull pain through fluffy blue clouds. A loud Nickleback tune pierced my head and doubled the pain.

Finally semi-conscious, I flailed my arms around looking for what I finally recognized as the damned ringing phone. I pressed the answer button... my eyes flew open and were assaulted by unbelievably bright light--of course, I'd forgotten to draw the shades down on the one day the sun decides to shine. It felt like a dagger jabbing through my eyes and straight back to give my skull a good scratch. I groaned in complete agony, put the phone to my ear, and kicked the covers only to have both my legs and free arm get tangled and trip me up over the edge and down onto the hardwood floor. The pain, having identified itself as a headache, screamed in my head in protest of all the ruckus.

God is angry, I thought. I already felt guilty over the day before, whatever happened to spending Ramadan in prayer, Quran reading, and with family?

Well... this happened. All of it.

The fact that it's light outside registered.. I'd forgotten to set the alarm, again. My throat was dry and I was faintly hungry.. and of course there were the aches. I had just banged my shoulder on the bedside table, the plate of cookies I had baked in what seemed like another lifetime and the glass of juice I set out wobbled. A glass of water, aspirin, and my cigarettes were added by my thoughtful friend in anticipation of my inevitable agony. Alas, dawn was ages ago.

To think I could've slept through all of this reminded me of what had awakened me into my current misery..

"Hello.." I half croaked and groaned into the inconsiderate phone.
"Hey.. it's me" He simply said.


Several days ago, I was sitting at the corner restaurant with a rather dry book, my feet propped up on the opposite chair, my phone switched off, and my sweatshirt bunched up into a make-shift pillow snugly behind my neck. The owner cracked the door open to let the last of the mild fall breeze through. After the morning storm, the sky absolutely glistened with pink, purple, and blue shades. On what seemed like a slow hour, the only other occupied table held a fidgety young woman. She reached down into her bag 4 times, first for a compact, then lip balm, then perfume, then gloss. Finally she sat on her hands. Five minutes later, she reached down for the compact again to tame her unruly side fringe.
A young man stepped through the doorway, scanned the floor and spotted her. He slowly broke into a smile, and sort of lingered watching her fidget and adjust for what seemed to me like several long minutes. She replaced her compact, finally noticed him, and seemed to relax. He cocked his head to one side and grinned in the most natural sentiment I've seen in some time. She quit fidgeting all-together, and rose to greet him warmly. They sat, she chattered off confidently and I returned to my book and marveled at the potency.. the pureness, and the absolute power of unspoken affection.

Once, I heard that love is being at Arrivals waiting for someone on that particular plane hours before you have to.


"Hey .. it's me"-- seemed so crass compared to that.

But, 'Hey it's me' aren't just words. They're selectively accentuated syllables, they're decorated with a significant tone or that characteristic breathiness.. they echo, literally, thanks to the terrible connection, through the thousands of miles... and they echo through time, taking me years back. Just like that, my piercing headache, the agitating light, my achy joints and sore ankle, my throbbing eyes, and furthermore--my resolve... they were all moot.

"Yea. Hey you." I replied, ages later it seemed.

But he's still on the line, just waiting, probably playing with that rusty swiss knife key chain of his, smiling as he anticipates my surprise--it must've been years--and knowing that I'll pretend not to be. If there is ever a time I'll admit to a fault, this is it. He is my fault.. My baggage.. The reason I'm human.

| 18 CoMmEnTs| -- Posted by [[ On My Own ]]--|Permanent Link|

18 Comments:

Man I loved this.

By  Erzulie, at 26 September, 2006 23:28  

beautiful writing style

By  Me, at 27 September, 2006 03:47  

as heavy as the baggage might be, i'm assuming there was still a bitter sweetness accompanying it..

as always beautifully written trev..

By  frogman, at 27 September, 2006 12:47  

Hope:
Who knows. It's just.. there. I don't question its presence, or its disappearance, or its reappearance.. it kills the moment. And its such a short moment that we learned to just live it..
It's just..light and healthy :)


Erzulie:
Aw, I'm glad you did. Welcome and all that good stuff.


Reem:
Thank you! How flattering! I'm glad you guys enjoy it.


Froggy:
Always.
It keeps me, and I'm sure him, grounded. Sometimes, when absolutely everything is chaotic, it's nice to know somewhere out there I have an anchor.. I dunno, it's hard to explain.

and thank you.. coming from you guys that's really nice to hear.

By  Trevelyana, at 27 September, 2006 18:06  

Welcome back.

By  f_, at 29 September, 2006 07:48  

...where IS that music coming from, trevelyana? Its the first time I notice it.

By  illogicist, at 29 September, 2006 14:34  

Im just happy that he called..but not eating su7oor made my tummy cramp in sympathy.. Got lost in your writings..wow..

By  Lamya, at 30 September, 2006 16:42  

You never stop to impress me Trev...
Gurl, use that talent of urz in a book or sumthin!!!

By  $uper MO, at 01 October, 2006 11:01  

Y do some people just know what to say when and how, and it can be the most silliest thing eva.

By  Madhatter, at 02 October, 2006 00:56  

Fedo:
Heh.. Laish wain ri7t?


Illogicist:
Oh it's like a grand hall with flowing music and you jus can't tell where it's from.. it's magical.
... ooor, someone forgot where they embedded the link and has completely lost their way around the template.. heh.


Lamya lost and found:
lol, I just woke up for su7oor.. and I'm having lemon juice and french vanilla swirl bread. Worst combination.. and only thing in my fridge.
I miss riyadh, even at 3am you can find a decent place to eat.


Heroine:
Well since it's you asking, I simply have to don't I :)


Mo:
heh.. ya my book would be out around the time of our grand kids. I just found out today that I only have two more summers .. literally. After that, I wont have a summer vacation for a good 5 or 6 years. Depressing -sigh-.


Madhatter:
So.. I'm silly ay? heh.

By  Trevelyana, at 03 October, 2006 01:55  

I have to admit, ive been in and out of ur blog for sometime but always thought it was a long read.

I findally red some of ur posts and i have to say ur a great writer. I loved this one a lot coz of the way ur able to capture the reality of the moment.. great stuff !!

Hope your next book is a bit more exciting.

By  fire alarm, at 03 October, 2006 23:53  

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO i didnt mean u are silly, i meant the person who calls can say the silliest thing and it can mean alot.
By the way check my blog out

By  Madhatter, at 04 October, 2006 00:17  

LOL.. No hopefully ur book will be out sooner than that :p
Why no summerz???

By  $uper MO, at 04 October, 2006 09:09  

I got it! Trevelyana, check out 'Clue to Kalo'. If you like that song thats playing, you'll love them.

By  illogicist, at 04 October, 2006 14:36  

Hmmmm, new post plz? :P

By  -OT-, at 07 October, 2006 04:12  

Twix:
hmm.. I do tend to go on don't I, heh.
Thanks.


Madhatter:
Will do.

And oh, it wasn't silly :)


Mo:
Med school babay!

Z:
I'll download it. I like this one because it's called 'The District sleeps alone tonight' and I first heard it driving out of DC late one night and thought it was so quiet out... I'm such a sentimental wuss.


OT:
la 3yooonak!

By  Trevelyana, at 07 October, 2006 14:30  

*nods thoughtfully*

By  Sedna, at 07 October, 2006 16:37  

No, I meant in this style of writing. I missed it.

By  f_, at 10 October, 2006 00:09  

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